(The Hot Damned Series Book 1)
by Robyn Peterman
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?
Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.
To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.
Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.
Just imagine an undead character all donned up in Prada and got mated with the Prince of Vampires a few days after her death! That’s Astrid for you and mind you, Astrid is really one hell of a sexy vampyre!
When Astrid died and transformed into an undead, she instantly met the foul-mouthed angel, Pam and got trained by a fashion-challenged fairy, The Kev. Together with bestfriend Gemma, they hauled and molded Astrid into one rocking vampire, capable of teleporting, kicking a lot of rogues and demon-asses, sprinkling magic dust and soon became The Chosen One.
There were a lot of twists and turns in this book, as well as a multitude of other characters. I was always surprised whenever one or two of the characters ended up being related with Astrid and how the chain of their connections continued up to the Vampyre kingdom. Pretty soon, she got mated with the Warrior Prince of North American Dominion (wow, that was a mouthful!). Plus there are a string of fairies and sprites and demons that made her life really entertaining! A number of celebrity names were present, too, like the famous Rachel & Ross (Friends!), Beyonce, Honest Abe, Jane Austen, Brad & Angelina, Paris Hilton & a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whoa! Then there’s her unbearable mother whose behavior towards her daughter was explained on the latter part of the book.
There were really a lot going on in this story, and overall, I enjoyed the ride until the cliffhanger ending. Robyn Peterman sure knows how to surprise and please her readers. I laughed out loud like I never laughed in a while. Oh gosh, now I know why my jaw hurts. Ha!