I was completely stoked after I read & reviewed A Thirty Something Girl by Lisa M. Gott. While her story was more about Hope’s battling depression, I realized there’s something that always been niggling inside of me. My fears.
I’ve asked myself this question before.. yes, what am I afraid of?
Is it (my)death? Or the death of someone I love?
Is it about something, like spiders, the dark or blood perhaps? Or about someone, like a doctor, an embalmer or a ghost maybe?
Am I afraid of someone I know from the past? or am I just afraid of my own shadows?
Honestly, I am afraid of all those things.. Yes, the answer is ALL of the above..
Why the sudden thoughts about fear, you might ask?
This fear was brought upon me after hearing the news about my dad’s condition. He had been losing weight, not eating very well, always getting sick and all other stuffs. Then the doctors told us, he’s got cancer. yes, the BIG C. and not just one, but two. Cancer of the esophagus and prostate cancer. Imagine how devastated I was, my whole family was.
And thus the fear in me flourished and almost broke me down.
But it also got me thinking about something..
Like, I’ve always wondered if I am afraid of what the future holds for me..
I’ve actually noticed that most of the time, I am more concerned about making the “right” decisions in my life when it comes to my future. I take it that I usually worry more than I should about committing to my professional goals because I always have this gut feeling that I may not end up successful.
I know it’s bad.. My friends and my former boss said that I am so pessimistic and passive. I refuse to see the bright side of things.. It seems like I am afraid of moving forward.. I am afraid of my own credibility..
It can be a real strength to recognize one’s fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life.
I realize, my fear of moving forward should somehow motivate me to take action in a positive way, like by experiencing a wider variety of things than others.
I certainly do not want to go on living with fear because it would only prevent me from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on my energy, health, and close relationships if not kept in check.
With this in mind, I guess I have to make some drastic changes on how I perceive life with all the people around me.. I have to make sure that I am strong enough to face the challenges that will come ahead and instill in my mind the glory of achieving something important..
And I know that the key to this path to Happyness is to be at peace with myself and believe in God Almighty..
For He is the one who can give us the Peace and Serenity that this world cannot give..